July 2008 Achieving True Success by Nick Harris Several years ago, I was invited to preach at a gathering in northern Iowa. I was told to fly to Des Moines and there a private plane would take me to the town where I was to speak. It was a small single engine craft, and as we flew the pilot and I conversed. I told him that the thing I would fear most if I were a pilot would be the landing. He said, "It's really not that difficult, Preacher---the most difficult thing about landing is the attitude of the plane." I didn't think I'd heard correctly so I asked, "You mean the altitude of the plane, don't you?" "No," he said. "The attitude has to do with the nose of the plane. If the attitude is too high, the plane will come down with a severe bounce, and if the attitude is too low, the plane may go out of control because of excessive landing speed." Then the pilot said something that really got my attention. He said, "The trick is to get the right attitude in spite of external circumstances like atmospheric conditions." As the years have passed I have seen that this was a perfect metaphor for a successful living. The trick is to develop the right attitude in spite of the outer circumstances in which we find ourselves. It is not an accident that some people who encounter turbulence in life can navigate successfully, while others cannot. It all relates to a proper attitude. It is my belief that people are content in life because they decide to be content. In spite of external circumstances they choose to make happiness a habit. In fact, the most important characteristic of a successful person is that he/she has developed the habit of contentment. The key is this: to live successfully and abundantly, we must literally reprogram our minds. You see, success has nothing to do with luck and has everything to do with our mind-set. We must refuse to allow either the little things or the big things in life to distract and annoy us. And we must never, ever fall into an attitude of self-pity. A friend of mine who is very adept in computer sciences said to me one day, "Our brains are programmed like a computer, so before we choose to put any sound, sight, smell, taste, touch, or intuition into our mental computers, we should stamp the entry data as being either positive or negative, because when we store that sensation in our brains, it remains there permanently.” That is when it dawned on me: this is why so many people make their lives so miserable. They sit around complaining about their lot in life all day long. Everything programmed into their minds is negative. If you are one of those persons, why not change you input. The apostle Paul understood this. Do you remember his words? In Philippians 4:8, he writes: "Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things." There is the secret to living fully---abundantly. We must refuse to let our circumstances determine our moods, thus the success or failure of our life. Just remember this: negative attitudes are destructive. I have found that most negative people operate on one false assumption. They believe that they could be positive if they just had a different job, or if they lived in the better home, or if they had married a different person. But joy in life does not hinge on having better or different circumstances. A person with a bad attitude will still be a person with a bad attitude, no matter where he or she lives, no matter where he/she works, and no matter with whom he or she lives. It has been my experience that negative persons will always defend their negative attitudes by saying that he/she is simply being “realistic;” that they refuse to live in “la-la land.” That is a false assessment. It is not being realistic---it is being negative, and for their lives to be changed they must change their thinking. To become positive a person must be willing to look beyond the current state of affairs and see the possibilities. I can tell you this: negative interpretations of surrounding circumstances are guaranteed to sap the joy out of our lives. But how do we cultivate positive attitudes when people are abusing us, doing things that we dislike, and our circumstances look bleak? The answer lies in taking responsibility for our own feelings. No one can control the way we feel other than ourselves. We can change the way we feel by an act of the will. Victor Frankl, the famous Jewish psychiatrist once said of the Nazis who held him captive, "They have taken from me everything I have---except the power to choose my own attitude.” And Frankl was right. The control over a negative mindset resides within ourselves, not on external things. To succeed in life we must develop positive attitudes. Research has revealed that successful people have developed the ability to adjust to things beyond his/her control. They learn to find the right attitude in spite of the conditions in which they find themselves. If we are to cultivate the habit of success in life, we will need to avoid three poisons, self-pity, blame, and resentment. We must take responsibility. Every symptomatic problem in our lives, like apathy, irritation, boredom, anger, or depression, can be traced to a breakdown in personal responsibility. If you are angry it will not be the fault of anyone else. It is your choice to be angry. If you are depressed, it is not because someone has disappointed you, but because you are choosing to be depressed. We must take responsibility for our own attitude. And avoid resentment at all costs. We must face the fact that no one is exempt from being treated unfairly. We all tend to justify the anger we feel when we have been treated unfairly. But when we choose to hold on to the disappointment, the pain, and the anger, and we only compound our troubles, does its deadly work. So, how can we attain success in life? It will never be done by depending upon externals. A successful life is not like winning the lottery. Success does not come from getting lucky. Random events, like winning the lottery cannot create long-term happiness or success. Real success includes a sense of mastery, a sense of control, a sense of feeling that something good has happened because we caused it to happen. Success only works when we make it work. Add faith in God to the mixture and you cannot fail.